A New Light

Sorry I have been away for a long time. Felt like writing again. My youngest child is also preparing to leave home so I am kind of feeling empty. The million dollar question that tugs my heart is what do I now? Letting go is a much used phrase but so difficult to do! Our lives revolve around our families and that’s what has kept us so busy for more than three decades. To start a new way of life, to nurture new hobbies which have been long forgotten is not as easy as it seems. In a way we depend on other people for our identity. It’s hard to believe that there is a role besides being a responsible mother and a caring wife .As our children leave for their new worlds, the shadows seem to lengthen, but reflecting on the good side remembers you offered your 100% support unconditionally. There is that empty gnawing ache that tells you, you are not needed any more. No one comes looking for you all the time. It is time again to reflect deeply and realize that we have an innate capacity and potential that lies hidden inside us. Time to give it wings and see ourselves in a new light. It’s time to feel honored and appreciated. It’s time to tell yourself that “You’ve done it all. Now is your time to rest, live and be loved.” I will be responsible for myself from now and look into my well being. A new beginning, a new light awaits me.

Lately I have been reading Rumi. Here is something I would like to share from it. He Says - "An ecstatic human being is a polished mirror that can not help reflecting. So how do we polish it and why is it essential??

The POLISHING may be related to a practice or devotion we do everyday i.e. emptying of a mind or living in the soul for that much time. There are various habits helpful in polishing depending on the intensity of our longing to do that. it might be a prayer time, a walk at the sunset, few minutes of meditation, artwork, singing or poetry. The choice is specifically yours to find. 

WHY IS IT ESSENTIAL?

Such activities are followed by a creativeness. What We Love, We Are........

As the heart comes cleaner and purer, we see the world as it is. We become the reflected light.

Rumi calls this "looking into the creek". I quote from his writings this poem:-

When desire weeds grow thick, Intelligence can't flow

But sometimes the reasonable clarity runs so strong, it sweeps the clogged stream open

No longer weeping and frustrated, your being grows as powerful as your wantings were before

Lets polish the mirror of our life daily

The season of Autumn

Stepping into our forties and fifties brings harvest and recognition.

After coping creatively with change in everything from our life's familiar pattern and game. Some women deal with this change better than others. Many cling to the past and keep their children's room unchanged , keeping themselves desolate. While some transform it into a new healthy space this is symbolic of our choices of the turning from the emphasis on our families and others in our lives to a new emphasis on ourselves. We should exercise our creative power in different ways. Time to leave old patterns of accommodating everything in our schedule and to learn to see the beauty in every season of life.

- Excerpts from Diane Dreher's writings.

It's the struggle in life that makes us strong

This story is very close to my heart and That is why it has made its way on this blog . Also this blog just completed its 100 pageviews.. Thank you readers :)

Author Unknown

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

-----

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives.

If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

I asked for Strength... and God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

" Close your Mouth and open your arms "

 I have always been an overanxious and conscientious parent . 

One side to it was that I was very caring, patient and a thoughtful mother but the other side of the coin was that I was sometimes also very panicky, over reactive , exaggerating. 

My mother's advice : WHEN A KID IS IN TROUBLE CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND OPEN YOUR ARMS ( god ! how I miss her ) 

With four children and 2 others in a big joint family, I am admired for my good qualities but at times I have a big mouth and little patience. I lost my temper over trivial things and said  awful and scary things to my children . Fortunately, they forgave me because I would remember my mother's advice. I would hug them and assure them that everything was alright. They have all flown into their nests and are doing very well for themselves. I look back and reflect that when I closed my mouth and controlled my temper, I could hear about their fear anger, guilt and repentance. They could admit they were wrong or ignorant knowing they were loved unconditionally anyway .

 Even today, when my 14 year old son gives me one odf his bear hugs that nearly collapses my lungs , i think the child in my adult body feels the same.

I am still learning to Close my mouth and open my arms.

Practicing Ahimsa in life

Buddhists and Hindus follow the principle of AHIMSA.
It means living in a way that causes no harm to any living being.
It also means relating to all humans and animals with kindness and respect.
Regardless of their behaviour.

Women often apply these values to everyone but for themselves. They will care for others in countless ways.
return calls, run errands, listen to problems, say yes to so many social obligations responding to request for our time and energy , unwilling to hurt people's feelings we fill up our days until we have nothing left.
In practicing kindness to others we are often unkind to ourselves .

What is admirable in the world's eye "the caring behaviour" becomes the destructive habit that undermines our health and peace of mind. If it is good to be responsive of people to act in connection with others, to be careful and empathetic rather than careless .


Then why is it selfish to respond to yourself ?

When you practice compassion and AHIMSA, it does not mean mindless self sacrifice but loving kindness also to YOURSELF .

- Excerpts from Diane Dreher's writings.

10 things that you should know about entering into the fifties ...

1. When you feel your brain is shrinking. You ask one thing repeatedly till your children respond you with a glare ! 
2. One moment you are crying and highly emotional, and at another, scowling at someone.
3. When you connect the dots of your life and realise that your reactions to events are the same as your mother's.
4. When your mood swings urge you to behave a thirteen year old but your body is still your biological age.
5. You start suffering from ADD ( attention deficit disorder ), you feel your husband is not giving you enough attention, your children are busy in their own lives.
6. Time to relocate yourself. 
7. It is that time of your life to preoccupy yourself.
8. Try to do something on your own. 
9. Time to stop pestering your children and loading them with your sad tales.
10. Free yourself of old delusions and step into a bright future.

    

     OR maybe write a blog :)